Hello lovelies!
I was diagnosed with invasive cancer last Dec 2020 few days before Christmas. We did not expect it because I was not feeling any suspicious thing going on in my body. I will share with you in this post how we discovered it.
Last March 14,2020 I was going up the stairs when I slipped on the first step and fell down face front. My breasts got bruised along with my arms and my tummy down to my legs. My whole body hurt from that fall and I couldn't immediately get up. My dear husband came to help me up but I refused because I wanted to do it on my own in order to feel what part of my body was broken. It hurt so bad I thought I broke my arms and my legs. After a couple of minutes, I was able to stand up. The only unharmed part of me was my head.
That was the day before the nationwide lockdown. But since the announcement was delayed, I still managed to go to work on Monday and helped clean and sanitize the library - with my bruised body. That day, I messaged our pediatrician who is also our family doctor and told her what happened. I also messaged our Oncologist friend. I asked them about my breasts because they were blue and I can feel some lumps. They advised me to have breast ultrasound. So I asked for a schedule from our Radiologist friend but she said, let the bruise heal first. And besides, there's the lockdown. Only the hospitals were open but we would not risk it because of CoViD-19.
I just treated the pain with hot and cold compress as advised by the doctors. And life went on. I forgot about it until I felt a lump again on my left breast in September 2020. So I went to the radiologist. She asked me during the ultrasound if I had my breast checked already by a specialist. I said no, then I told her what happened last March. She advised me to have it checked by a specialist. The reading showed that there was an irregularly shaped mass in my left breast and the biggest nodule is 2.5 cm. Her diagnosis was “Old hematoma vs new growth.”
I immediately sent the ultrasound report to my Oncologist friend. And told her about my conversation with the radiologist. She (Onco) told me that she can remove the mass or perform a core needle biopsy on her next visit in town. So I waited. But due to the high cases at that time, she could not travel to our town. She messaged me that I could go instead to Manila and she will conduct the biopsy there. But things were getting worse in Manila that time. I was scared to travel and go to a hospital. I told her that I will just wait for her here in our town.
I started to be more conscious of my breast after that ultrasound. Once a month before my period, I can feel a bit of pain in my left breast. It could be normal but because of the ultrasound, I know that I have to have it checked. My bff Xiaui, who is my Onco’s cousin, told me that the biopsy will be done in a safe clinic in Quezon City, not a hospital. She told me that it is relatively safe because there are so very few patients coming there. So I decided to move on to the next step. I messaged my Onco. I got a schedule on the morning of Dec 10 at St. Peregrine Surgical and Cancer Center in Quezon City.
True enough, the clinic looked so safe and clean. My husband and I were amazed to see that I was the only patient that time. The nurses brought me to a comfortable couch and handed me a blanket as I waited for them to prepare the operating room. Feeling secured and safe, I never worried about how the core needle biopsy will happen. So I laid down on the operating bed or table or whatever they call it and just followed my doctor’s instructions. She explained to me how the core needle biopsy works. Like there will be 2 needles, one inside another. The inner needle will get the sample of the mass while the outer needle will protect the surrounding tissue. This will prevent the tumor from spreading in case it is malignant. She told me that I will hear a “bang”-like sound (like the sound of a nerf gun) as the needle enters my body. Then she said, it will be done 6 times. And I said, “Ok, I can do that.”
Then she injected my breast with anesthesia. Waited a bit before she started the first bang. Unfortunately, the anesthesia did not work fast enough for me. I felt everything. I felt like a small bullet just pierced my breast and went through my back. My doctor asked me, “Masakit ba? (Does it hurt?)” I asked back “Ano bang masakit Doc? Hindi ko kasi alam eh kasi mataas ang pain tolerance ko. Pero naramdaman ko yun.(What kind of pain, Doc? I really don’t know because my pain tolerance is high. But I felt that.” Then we laughed. So she sent the 2nd bang. Ohhh it pierced again in a different angle but still towards my back. My doctor asked me again and I said, it’s ok Doc. Then she sent the 3rd. And I said, “Tagos hanggang kabilang suso yan Doc ah. (It pierced through to my right breast.)” And her eyes widened.
She was so shocked. She didn’t know I was feeling everything. Hahaha. She said I should not have felt those. So she injected more anesthesia and gently massaged my breast with her fingertips. After some more minutes, we resumed the biopsy. The last 3 bangs were unremarkable. I had no feeling or story to tell. Lol. So that was how it should have been on the first 3. Painless. Ahahaha Ok, so she told me that results will come out after a week or two. The nurses sent me back to the couch with blanket to rest a bit. Then I thanked my doctor and the nurses as we left the clinic.
When the anesthesia wore off, My left breast felt bruised again. And yes, the parts where the needle went through were blue. It lasted for more than a week. Then on Dec 21, my doctor messaged me that she already has the result and that she will call me when she gets home because she was driving. That message scared me. I was like, why does she need to talk to me? Can't she just send it to my mail? Although I’d love to talk to her, that message was just plain scary. Ahahaha i asked my bff Chacha, “whatever the result is, the doctor will always talk to the patient, right? So it can still be good news, right?” And she was like, “yes, don't worry it will be ok.” That lifted my spirit.
My doctor called around 8pm. She emailed me the result while we were on video call. When I read the result, my heart and my mind stopped. For a second or two. The result showed that it was "Invasive Cancer." Then my tears started to fall. It kept on falling while my doctor and I were talking. And she cried too. She told me what will be our next step. So she scheduled me for operation on the first week of January 2021. But told me that she will submit the specimen to her trusted pathologist for a second opinion.
The second pathologist confirmed the result that it was invasive cancer. That was before Christmas. And so we just had a simple Christmas celebration. My parents stayed with us the whole day. We did not talk much about it. My parents just asked me about the next steps that we will take. And they cheered me up by saying that everything will be ok.
At 7 am of January 7, 2021, I was inside the operating room of Medical Center Manila (ManilaMed). My husband and I checked in the day before so that they can test and prepare me for the operation. My Onco was also affiliated with PGH but she chose ManilaMed because the Covid cases in the former was so high at that time. Before the operation, I was given choices. I could have a Modified Radical Mastectomy, a Tram Flap Reconstruction, or a post-op breast reconstruction. She suggested the Tram Flap Reconstruction because I am still young, she said. That somehow, gave me hope that I will still have some time to live. You know, being given the news that I have invasive cancer, the first thing that came to my mind was that I am dying. But it isn't always so. Anyway, my husband told me that if a reconstruction is possible, we'll take that option. He said that if a part of me will be removed, a replacement of that part will hasten my healing process, at least, psychologically. And so we chose Tram Flap MRM.
My operation required a plastic surgeon aside from my onco-surgeon friend. I was glad my doctors were good friends, they worked harmoniously together. The operation went for around 7 hours. I can only imagine how tired my doctors were. My husband was worried the whole time. When I think about it now, I realized how hard the experience was for the people around me, loving me. Their ordeal was greater than mine because I was just asleep the whole time. This experience made me appreciate more my husband, my family, my relatives and my friends. The fight was bearable because of them. The burden did not feel too heavy because there were so many people helping me carry it.
I will park this story here and move on. There are a lot more new adventures to share.
xoxo, Ails
